Posts tagged: likability

What Nancy Pelosi Can Learn From The Likeability Guy

Full Disclosure

It’s only fair that I start this article by disclosing the fact that I’m not a Democrat nor am I a Republican. I spend very little time watching the news or reading about politics in the paper, but when I do, I’m shocked at how our politicians pay so little attention to something as important as their likeability.

You may have seen or read the most recent article in POLITICO that came out today concerning the approval rating of the Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi. The numbers were terrible. This is what she had to say about them to POLITICO.

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi is one of the most despised political figures in the country.

And, frankly, she doesn’t give a damn.

“No, I don’t care,” Pelosi told POLITICO last Thursday, laughing heartily as she walked beneath the Capitol dome and plunged into a crowd of tourists …

… “I certainly want to be trusted. I’m not particularly concerned if I’m liked.”

A Human Being First

Let me start by telling you that Nancy Pelosi is a human being first and a politician next. And even though she said, “I’m not particularly concerned if I’m liked,” she does care if she’s liked. Everyone cares. But like most people who have had their feelings hurt, she decided to tell the public that it doesn’t matter to her … when it does.


What Happens When You Tell People Their Opinion Doesn’t Matter?

Making that statement is just one more way to be seen as unlikeable. When you tell people that you don’t care if they like you, what you’re implying is that they are not important enough for you to care what they think. And when you tell people that they are not important, they are not going to like you.

There are over a dozen things I would suggest to Nancy Pelosi to improve her likeability, and I’m going to start with this suggestion.

You Do Care

Reach out to the public and tell them how you really feel. Tell them that you do care if they like you and that their opinion of you is important.  Tell them that it hurts your feelings to know that people don’t like you and that you’re going to work on being more likable. Let them know that you understand that even though the majority of the public many hold a different political opinion than yours, you still care about them and what they think about you as a person.  And then (here comes the hard part) don ‘t say another word on the subject. Don’t give a reason or an excuse or try to explain why you said what you said other than to admit that you do care what the citizens of the United States think.

The Bad News: Nancy Pelosi has a massive likeability problem with the majority of Americans.

The Good News: She can become more likable without giving up her liberal values.

Take a look at the characteristics of likable people and rate the Speaker of the House in each category. Please come back to this post and leave you comment on what you think she can do to improve her likability. I will forward your comment onto the Speaker of the House.

Aloha, Bob Sommers

The Likeability Guy

Generating Likeability Through The Mail

Thank You Note

You’ve Got Mail

I fully intended to sit down this morning and write an article on likeability when my day was interrupted by the mailman. Up until that time, everything was perfect. The article was titled and mind mapped (which is a right brained way to do an outline) and anxiously awaiting to be organized into an entertaining piece of classical literature. But as I mentioned above, the mailman interrupted my day.

Among the bills, marketing postcards and fan mail was a note addressed to me from Darbee Fisher. Darbee is a real estate agent for Keller Williams here on Maui. I met her for the first time ten days ago when my son Josh and I went to their office to teach the agents how to generate leads using advanced blogging techniques. Knowing that Josh was a full time Internet marketer and computer repair technician, Darbee hired him to repair her computer.

Here’s the note I received which was addressed to Bob and Susan Sommers Read more »

The 15 Laws of Likeability

Over the past 5 years I’ve studied and researched why people like each other and why they don’t. To date I’ve uncovered 15 characteristics that make people likable. Here’s what I’ve discovered.

To begin, you must understand the overriding principle of likeability. All 15 characteristics fall under its influence. The principal states: “We like the people who genuinely help us like ourselves.” The keyword is “genuiely.” Anyone can fake likeability, and they often do.

As a matter of fact, the vast majority of sociopaths practice the skill of likeability without understanding why or how it work. They’ve learned through a life of trial and error how to act in such a way to get what they want from others. They don’t understand why it works, just that it works.

If you want to be genuinely liked by others and reap the rewards offered to likable people, you must approach each of these characteristics with a pure heart. If you don’t, you will soon be discovered as a fraud and treated as such.

Laws Of Likeability

    1. We like people who like us
    2. We like people who are like us
    3. We like authentic people
    4. We like people who make us feel safe
    5. We like people who get (understand) us
    6. We like people who elevate our mood
    7. We like people with whom we have frequent contact
    8. We like people with whom we collaborate
    9. We like polite people
    10. We like beautiful people
    11. We like people who we associate with good feelings
    12. We like people who are relevant in our lives
    13. We like people who make us feel welcome
    14. We like the people we help
    15. We like people who can laugh at themselves easily

      Stay tuned because I will be discussing each of these principles in detail in the future. I would also enjoy your thoughts and comments on the subject.

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