bobsusanWhen you focus on helping people like themselves, they will like you back. They will work for you, hire you, buy from you, refer you to their friends, listen to you, respect your opinion, vote for you, support you and befriend you.

Knowing how to get people to like themselves is the key to being liked. It’s the key to happiness, longevity, health and success. Enjoy the site!

Bob Sommers
The Likeability Guy

Likeability Applied To Business

Likeability Defined

What’s The Quickest Way To Likeability?

What do you think is the quickest way to become more likable? Please tell me what you think in the comment section below.

You Can’t Make People Like You

Try as you may, you can’t make people like you. It’s a misnomer. You “can” like other people, but you “can not” make them like you back.

But wait, there is good news. When you focus your attention on helping people like themselves (not being a people pleaser or a brown noser) there is a very good chance they will like you in return. Be the kind of person people want to like.

Why Are You Called The Likeability Guy?

How To Be Likable in a Group

If you want to be seen as the most likable person in the room … and you do, there are times you’ll need to stand-up in order to stand-out. Here are a few ideas that will help you help the group and the people in your group feel good about themselves without drawing attention to yourself.

Parking At The Atlanta Airport

In the early days of my public speaking career I gave approximately 100 speeches a year and none of them were in my home town of Atlanta. Virtually every speaking engagement required a trip to the Atlanta-Hartsfield International Airport where I parked my car on a lot the size of New Jersey.

I credit the airport authority for doing their very best to help me find my car upon returning to Atlanta, but even with all of their help, I usually could have walked home in the time I located my car, and I lived 35 miles from the airport.

jackWhat Am I Going To Do?

After hearing me complain about this frustrating problem, my children decided to invest in an Airport Car Identification and Retrieval Device (ACIRD), otherwise know as a Jack-In-The-Box antenna ball. So one afternoon before yet another trip, they walked me to my car and attached Jack to my radio antenna and hugged me goodbye.

This trip was different. Upon my return to the Atlanta airport, I looked up over the sea of cars and there, off in the distance was Jack waving his bright white head yelling, “Over here! Here I am! Over here! Look over here!” My days of endlessly searching for my car in frustration were over, at least that’s what I thought.

It wasn’t long before every weary traveler in Atlanta discovered my trick. Within weeks I noticed hundreds of Jack balls all standing above the sea of cars yelling, “Over here! Here I am! Over here! Look over here!” With all the distractions, finding my car was harder than ever.

Now What?

I told my children how everyone at the airport had discovered their great idea and asked them to think of another solution. The next day after school I found them decorating my Jack ball with florescent yellow paint and a few personal touches that no one else dare imitate. (It’s amazing what two preteen boys will come up with when they’re mother isn’t looking.)

Problem solved. Now with hundreds of Jack balls yelling, “Over here! Here I am! Over here! Look over here!” My new and improved “Jackie” ball stood out beckoning me with her soft voice, “Hey sailor! Did you miss me?”

Make Me Feel Good About Me And My Group

Helping people feel good about the group they belong to is no different than helping an individual feel good about himself or herself. It makes little difference if the group is your daughters softball team, a staff meeting at work or the gathering of Nobel Laureates in Physics. Everyone wants to feel good about himself or herself and the people they associate with.

The only real difference in helping people feel good in a group setting is the fact that you’re doing it in a public forum. You must be willing to stand-up and assert your likability in an environment that terrifies most everyone else, and do it without calling attention to yourself.

Here are a few ideas as to how you can do just that.

  1. If you get and opportunity to speak, start by complimenting the group and be specific. Not only will the group appreciate your compliment, they will be much more likely to listen to what you have to say next.
  2. Pay attention to what’s going on in the meeting and actively look for observational humor opportunities. It’s very easy to do and everyone enjoys having their spirits elevated … especially the person who prompted the humor. If you want to learn more about observational humor, visit John Kinde’s Humor Site.
  3. Take on the role of host or hostess to the greatest extent you can in every group setting. In doing so, you will not only be an asset to the person responsible for the meeting, but you will be winning people over by helping them feel safe and welcome.

Don’t Wait

Don’t wait and don’t be shy when it comes to helping the group and the people in that group feel good about themselves, and don’t be surprised when others take notice and attempt to imitate your behavior. Stand-up, stand-out and do something right now to demonstrate why you are the most likable person in the room.

A Letter From A Customer

Hi (Fill in the Blank)

I’m your customer and I want you to know that I like you and I like doing business with you. Some of my reasons may sound a little odd, and to tell you the truth I don’t fully understand them myself, but I assure you my comments are sincere.

1. I like doing business with you because you like me. You are the only supplier who has ever taken the time to send me a personal note stating how you feel.

2. I like doing business with you because you are like me in so many ways. We share common beliefs and experiences. Because of this I know you understand me better than any other supplier.

3. I like doing business with you because you are an expert at what you do. I know I can count on you to provide me with accurate information saving me time and money.

4. I like doing business with you because you don’t take yourself to seriously. You can laugh at yourself and that makes me comfortable to be around you.

5. I like doing business with you because I feel happy when I’m with you. I look forward to seeing you and hearing from you because you make me feel joyful when I’m with you. You make me laugh.

6. I like doing business with you because you pay attention to how you present yourself to me. It’s one of the many things you do to show your respect for our relationship.

7. I like you because you’re genuine. I never feel like you’re putting on airs or trying to be someone you’re not. I trust you.

8. I like you because you associate with others that I admire. I do judge people by the company they keep, and you keep good company.

9. I like you because I like to associate with people other people admire. I feel special and important when I’m in your presence.

10. I like you because you are attentive to my needs. You take the time to ask pertinent questions before offering a solution. You care.

11. I like you because you’re courteous. You respect my time and space and you always let me know how much you appreciate my business.

12. I like you because I know you’re on my team. I can count on you to be there when I need you.

13. I like you because you give me the opportunity to do things for you too. You’ve done so much for me. It makes me feel good about myself when you allow me to do something as simple as buy your lunch.

14. Most importantly, I like you because I like me best when I’m with you. You make me feel smart and interesting and funny and wise. This is your greatest gift.

And because I like you, I want to see you succeed. I want to buy what you’re selling and refer you to everyone I know. I’m delighted to go out of my way to add to your success.

Thank you for making it so easy for me to like you, do business with you and refer you to my friends with confidence.

Signed, Your Customer

Feel free to use all or part of this letter and send it to your favorite supplier. I assure you, it’s a letter they will cherish and remember for the rest of their life.

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The Likeability Guy 821 Kumulani Drive Kihei HI 96753 808-891-0449